Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
