And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
