You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
