so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Buhtt sex?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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