dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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