he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
