Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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