I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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