I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
