so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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