So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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