the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
