i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize