Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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