We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
