How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm like, not good at living.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
