Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
