I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
