I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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