I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
