she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
