There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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