They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
