we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
