you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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