If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
