He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
