The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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