they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
