its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
