So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
