I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
