I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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