last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
