Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
