The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
