He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
