good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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