put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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