so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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