Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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