porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
