you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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