then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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