Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
