How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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