why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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