"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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