he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
