Whod you bang
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
